Mother's Day

This year marks my first "official" Mother's Day, but in my heart, I became a mother back in 2008 when we got that first positive pregnancy test. We lost that baby at six weeks along (though we didn't find out for another few weeks). That baby would have been due at the end of April 2009 and would have just turned four. We got pregnant again in the fall of 2009 only to find out that he or she had also not developed. That baby would have been due in early May 2010.

Having Hannah has been amazing, wonderful, beautiful and miraculous but just because God answered our prayer and allowed us to have this incredible, precious little girl has not diminished the love and longing I still have for those little ones that I never got to hold. This year, the due dates came and they were just as heavy on my heart and mind as they have been every other year.

There was a post from a local woman who makes jewelry (she calls them sweet peas) and she was offering a Mother's Day special to create a piece and meet up in person to save on shipping. I checked out her website and noticed a sweet section where she was beginning to make pieces to memorialize "lost peas" for women who have lost their babies.

So this is my Mother's Day gift to myself. It's adorable and has so much meaning to me -- the little pearls (or "peas") are the colors of the birthstones of April and May and those pearls are smaller. And then the larger pearl is Hannah's birthstone.

If any of you are interested in ordering, you can check out her website: mamabssweetpeas.com or like her on Facebook: facebook.com/mamabssweetpeas

Sign up for her newsletter and you'll get a coupon code for a discount on your first order. She usually ships her orders, so you can get your own "sweet peas" even if you're not local.

And for all of you mommas who have lost babies or who are still praying for God to answer your prayer for a baby, know you are being prayed for this Mother's Day.

If you are reading this and know someone who has lost a baby (or a child), please call her or send her a card on Sunday. Validate the life she carried but lost. One of my sweet friends has sent me a Mother's Day card every year and that has meant so much to me -- to know that someone else remembered my babies and remembered me as I grieved not having them here.

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. -1 Thessalonians 5:11

22 weeks update

After having consultations at two different places in regards to Hannah's flat head and her need for helmet correction, we decided to go with the Charlotte facility, Cranial Technologies. They were able to start her in it right away and the other place couldn't get us back in to do a second consult until April 26th and then they said they might want to wait to see if her head got any better on its own, which would be nice, but waiting too long with the watch and see approach means that we could lose valuable time.  The correction works best when the baby is in the helmet during growth spurts and she is about to reach a critical one, the 4-6 month growth spurt, so we wanted to get her in it as soon as possible to hopefully see results sooner and not have her have to wear it quite so long. So, we went back last Friday to do the official Digital Imaging to get the helmet created and we went back yesterday to get the helmet and get it fitted.

She had some redness when they first put it on (which is expected - her little head has grown in the week since the scan) so they made some adjustments and then she wore it for about three hours after we left. She did great with it last night, but she didn't sleep in it since our appointment was so late in the day and there wasn't much time for her to do the trial wearing prior to bed time. So today, she will be in it every 3-4 hours, then we'll take it off to check for redness and leave it off until the redness disappears (which should be less than 1 hour). As long as the redness disappears, she'll be in it another 3-4 hours, then we'll check for redness. If she doesn't have any lingering redness today, she will wear it to bed tonight. However, if she develops any sores or rashes this weekend, we'll have to go back on Monday to get everything checked out. If she doesn't have any issues this weekend, she'll begin wearing it for 23 hours a day starting Monday. We are able to take it off to work on her torticollis exercises five times a day as well, but mostly she'll wear it all the time except bath time.

We were told that she will be sweating more with it on and that it will keep her on the warm side, so we have to dress her really really light as we enter the warmer days (which are already here). So, if you see my child without pants, it's not because we're bad parents. Haha! She's been eating a bit less lately due to teething so prayers that she'll be able to keep her fluid intake up so she doesn't get dehydrated while she's teething and wearing the helmet would be greatly appreciated.

We don't know how long she'll be in it - it will probably be a week-by-week thing to see how she grows and how quick her head changes shape. We are hoping it'll be less than 12 weeks, but that's the average amount of time, so we'll just wait and see! We'll have to go back at least once every 7 days to do adjustments as she continues to grow (which pretty much means a very long day in the car going to and from Charlotte).

We are able to decorate the helmet after our next appointment, so hopefully we'll be able to "pretty it up" next weekend. We'll see what we end up with - I'm leaning for something "cute" but we'll see if Paul intervenes and she ends up with a Gators or Tron helmet. ;)

Here are some pics since the last update.

Quality time with daddy means KICK TIME! Hannah's favorite.

4/1/13

 

4/1/13

Sweet pic from our sitter, Sharon. 4/11/13

Pic from Sharon, 4/11/13. LOVE!

22 weeks! 4/12/13

Trying on the helmet for the first time. 4/12/13

4/12/13

4/12/13

20 Weeks Update

I know it has been about a month since our last update. There's been a lot of happenings!

Hannah has been very busy hanging out with all of her family! Her Grandma Marlys and Grandpa Chet (Amber's mom and step-father) came to town to visit recently so that was a lot of fun. Last time Grandma and Hannah were together, Hannah was still just four pounds so she had changed a lot  in the few months since their last visit, having gained seven pounds and now interacting. I think they enjoyed singing to her and having her chatter away and smile the whole time they were here. :)

Hannah was dedicated at Biltmore Baptist Church on March 17th and we made sure she was wearing green so she didn't get pinched. Pastor Bruce introduced us and our church family prayed that Hannah would come to know Christ at an early age and that we'd raise her up for His glory! I know we'll fall short at times, but she is a gift to us from Him which is why we named her Hannah, so it was very special to stand in front of all of the people who had prayed for us for months (and some who knew Paul and I personally and our longing for a child and had been praying for us for years) and recognize God's answer to prayer as a family. What a special time!

Hannah had her 4-month doctor's visit and everything looked good. She weighed in at 11 pounds on the nose at her March 15th visit. He did mention that we get a consultation for a possible helmet due to her flattened head on one side. This is something we've been aware of from the beginning as many NICU babies end up with a flat head. When Hannah was first born, she always favored sleeping with her head facing to the right. Despite our best efforts (and believe me, we have tried) to do positional changes with her and trying to put her to sleep facing her left and doing exercises to loosen her neck muscles on her left side, she has still always moved back to her right side when she sleeps. The good news is that she's made huge strides since January and now is very willing to voluntarily look to her left and sometimes even sleep facing her left. Unfortunately, the damage is already pretty severe. It's not so noticeable looking at her from the front, but when you look at her head from the top down, you can see how one of her ears is pushed significantly more forward than her other ear and her forehead is protruding more on her right side and her cheek is fuller on that side as well. The condition she has is plagiocephaly and her neck muscle condition is called torticollis. In the past two weeks, we have traveled to two different facilities to do a consultation and are praying about which facility and which type of helmet to go with. There are big pros and cons to both places, so it's been a bit of a struggle to try to make the best decision for her care. However, we are leaning more toward one than the other, so when we make a final decision, I will share it with everyone.

If you want to read more about her condition, click here.

This is a picture of what her head looks like so you can get a better idea of what's going on:

Like I mentioned, this condition is fairly common with NICU babies and has been more common, in general, since 1992 after the recommendation to have babies sleep on their backs (to prevent SIDS) began. In our case, it's possible that some of this started in utero as Hannah was head down right over my cervix from at least 19 weeks gestation until birth, so she may have been laying on that side before she even arrived. Regardless, getting a helmet is usually very effective, especially when it is started very early. I will update on what we'll be doing in regards to that once we have some more things finalized. Prayers for wisdom while we make decisions are greatly appreciated.

Hannah got to meet her Great Grandparents and Great Aunts and second and third cousins yesterday so that was a treat that we got to stop in and visit with them on our way back from Charlotte.

Here are some pictures of our sweet girl who is starting to look more and more like her daddy! I am pretty sure she has momma's eyes, though. :)

4 months old! March 9th.

18 weeks.

Dedication March 17th.

Dedication Day! March 17th.

Grandma Marlys, Mom, Grandma Penny and Hannah. March 17th.

Grandma Marlys and Grandpa Chet.

20 weeks!

16 weeks!

I can't believe we'll have a 4-month old in just about a week.

Hannah is doing great but has been dealing with her first cold this week. Thankfully she hasn't had a fever, but she's had a few days of stuffy and snotty nose and while that has eased up a bit, she's still dealing with a lot of congestion. I've also been dealing with something similar...she started showing symptoms first so I'm going to assume she gave it to me and not the other way around. ;)

In the past couple of weeks, she has started holding on to her toys and really observing all of her surroundings. She likes her bouncer seat and likes looking at the little toys that dangle above her head; she gets really excited and kicks her legs which makes her bounce. It's adorable.

She still hates tummy time and she doesn't like being in the car seat when she's awake and she can't see us. She does recognize her name now and will turn her head from side to side to watch us when we move from one side of her to the other. We love watching her smile at us every day, which she continues to do.

We also got some good news from the cardiologist this week. We had an appointment with them a couple of weeks ago to check on the hole in her heart (which was discovered while she was in NICU). The EKG they did the day of came back good and we got the results of the echocardiogram this week which indicated that the hole in her heart has gone from "large" to "moderate". Our hope is that the hole will close on its own and she won't require surgery (which they would want to do between 3-5 years old). Fortunately, most ASDs (Atrial Septal Defects) do resolve on their own. We'll do another check in about 6 months and then maybe move to a yearly check up just to keep an eye on it.

Here's some more pictures since last time! Oh, and for those who missed the announcement on Facebook, Hannah's baby dedication is scheduled for Sunday, March 17th at Biltmore Baptist Church before the 9:15 am service. We'd love to see you there. :)

Hannah with her Grandpa Zoller.

16 weeks!

I asked her who was cute...I think she knows the answer. ;)

Smiley girl!

3/1/13

She hates tummy time. Propping her on the Boppy gets about 2 minutes out of her.

14 weeks!

Hannah is doing great! The day before her 3 month birthday, she finally started smiling at us. What a treat that is! Usually if she doesn't see one of us for a while, she'll smile when she does see us again and she is usually all smiles when she gets picked up after waking up in the morning.

She is becoming SO observant. She's been very alert and aware of her surroundings since the very beginning, but you can really see her trying to figure things out more and more. Her room has been really bright on sunny days and she's had trouble sleeping so while we've been waiting for the blackout liner that we ordered to arrive, Paul has hung a blanket over the curtains to make the room a little darker. She noticed it a few days ago and I couldn't pull her gaze away - she could tell something was different and she just wanted to stare at it. She also noticed the dragonfly painted on the wall above her changing table as I was holding her to face it. It's so fun to watch her get focused on something and see the wheels turning.

She is doing much better at turning her head to the left. She'll often fall asleep with it that way now and I'll usually find her facing that way when she wakes up in the morning. Here's hoping we won't have to get her fitted for a helmet! :)

Hannah got to meet her Grandpa Scarbrough (who prefers to be called "Pea Paw") and new "Nana" Connie this week. She was all smiles even though we woke her up for the visit.

Hannah smiling at mommy 2/8/13

2/13/13

Hannah meets her Grandpa Ray 2/14/13

Hannah with Nana Connie 2/14/13

14 weeks! 2/15/13

2/15/13

Twelve Weeks

Wow! Has it been 12 weeks already?

Hannah is doing really well! She's been sleeping in six hour increments in the night, which I know is supposedly what every parent longs for -- to finally be able to sleep more. I miss the extra times with her in the middle of the night, though, but it is nice to be a little more rested.

Hannah had her two month check-up at the doctor this week (which was kind of late since she's nearly three months). He is happy with her growth since her last appointment. As of Tuesday, she was weighing in at 9lbs 8oz and she's 21 1/2" long. :)

She has a preferred side to lay on which is making her head flat on one side. If you notice most of the pictures we post of her, she is usually facing her right. So the doctor has recommended we start doing some physical therapy with her to try to get her to move her head to her left more. We've been doing that and she's doing better. She still prefers the right side, but she's more willing to look longer on her left now.

And she's become very fond of her pacifier. Usually if she's fussy at all, she'll calm right down as soon as you give it to her. Sometimes we'll give it to her as she's going to sleep and I'll check on her a couple of hours later and she'll still have it in her mouth.

Hannah is really taking in her environment and becoming more and more aware of things by the day. She's starting to smile more now, too. It's not all the time and it still seems kind of random, but she's definitely doing it more when she sees people she knows. :)

Here are some more pictures! Enjoy!

12 weeks! 2/1/13

Holding mommy's finger. 1/28/13

With her giant bear. 1/28/13

1/28/13

1/28/13

I found my tongue! 2/1/13

Hannah likes sitting up in the Boppy.

2/1/13

Daddy time!

Happy Ten Weeks

I can't believe how fast time is flying right by. Hannah is nearly ten days past the two-month mark and today marks ten weeks. She is a really great baby - she has had some evenings where she's been a little bit colicky but it's only happened a few times. For the most part, she's very patient - she only really screams when she's hungry or if she's in a position she doesn't like (and once you move her, she's fine). She will frequently be awake in her crib and just entertain herself by looking around at her surroundings.

She is still eating really well and growing! As of this week, she has outgrown her newborn onesies. She's still fitting into her newborn footed pjs (she outgrew her preemie onesies about two weeks before her preemie footed pjs, so I'm guessing she has about another two weeks before she'll fit good into the 0-3 month pjs).

We won't have an official weight on her until her next Dr. appointment, but unofficially she's hovering around the 9lb mark. (That's me weighing myself on our horribly inaccurate scale then holding her and subtracting the weight holding her vs. not holding her.)

She is starting to notice things and focus on them for a little longer. She has discovered her tongue and will just move it in and out of her mouth with her eyes wide which I find really comical. She is also starting to smile more, but not as a response, just randomly. It's cute when she has a bottle in her mouth and smiles really big and the milk spills out which she does at least once or twice a day.

Here are some pics! Enjoy! :)

12/29/12

1/4/13

 

1/13/13

Daddy Time 1/17/13

Baby feet! 1/18/13

Ten Weeks! 1/18/13

Mommy time! 1/18/13

Big girl in her 0-3 Onesie! 1/18/13