Moving Right Along

Sorry there hasn't been much of an update - we're all doing great but have been busy!

Hannah is still eating like a champ and growing like a weed! Not sure how much she weighs, but she's got to be over 7 lbs by now. We'll have a wellness appointment with the pediatrician in the next couple of weeks so we should have an official weight check then. Hannah has been sleeping in a bassinet since we brought her home but as of yesterday, she has officially been moved to her crib. She was starting to get too long for the bassinet and she likes to kick her feet and she was starting to look like a sardine in there (though she looked lost in the crib when we first got her home). She seems to love the crib - she likes to look at the designs on the bumpers and she seems to like to have more room to squirm around and move her legs. It's hard to believe how tiny she was just a month ago compared to how big she is now. She's been exclusively in newborn clothes and diapers for about three weeks now and her preemie hats no longer fit her head. :)

I've been spending a lot of time getting the house organized and more cleaned up as I'll be going back to work starting this Sunday. I have really missed work and my coworkers, but I know it's going to be very very hard being away from Hannah all day. I'm thankful that I only work 15 minutes away from her, but not seeing her for 8+ hours is going to be difficult.

Here are a couple of pictures of Hannah in her crib and some other pics we've taken since our last update. Enjoy!

Progress

Hannah has been doing great since she's been home. She weighed in at 4lbs 15oz at her follow-up appointment this past Wednesday (November 28th) so she's on par with the 1oz/day weight gain that she should be having. She's still eating great and has developed a bit of a double chin and some chubby cheeks. It's wonderful to see that after seeing how tiny she was while she was still at the hospital. She's also having more awake/alert time now and really likes listening to the sounds around her. Her eyes get really wide when she hears a new sounds - it's fun to watch her learning and observing new things.

I had two surgical follow-up appointments this past week and had the steri strips ripped off (literally--OUCH). The incision is healing well and I'm getting around okay, but it hurts when any sort of pressure is applied to it (which means wearing regular clothes is pretty uncomfortable). Hoping that it will feel better in a few weeks because I probably can't wear pajamas out in public or to work. ;o)

Other than that, we're doing well. Here are some more pictures!

Hannah likes the Christmas tree lights.

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Oscar finally got to give Hannah a good sniff.

Daddy/Hannah time.

Lookin' at you, lookin' at me, kid.

Cute little double chin and chubby cheeks.

Here we all are! :)

Happy Thanksgiving

What a wonderful Thanksgiving we're having this year -- we're finally all home under the same roof. Hannah was released from NICU to come home on Tuesday. It's been awesome having her home -- we are getting the chance to learn her likes and dislikes and spend some quality time with her. She's more alert now that she's home and likes to have her feet pressed on, likes to have some awake time after feedings and likes to have her head rubbed. She's been waking up to eat every three hours overnight (we had to wake her up to eat every four hours in the NICU) and she usually wants to sleep a bit more during the day.

Yesterday (Wednesday) was pretty busy -- I got to get my staples out! I have been upgraded from staples to steri strips. Overall, everyone feels like I am healing well from the surgeries. I have two follow-up appointments next week to check on the incision again, but after that, I shouldn't have many more follow-up appointments in regards to the surgeries. I'm still going to be unable to lift things more than 5lbs until a full 6 weeks or so post surgery and can't push or pull anything heavy, but other than that, I'm getting around fairly well. They told me I can start to drive in a few days but to ease into it and make sure I can bend and check blind spots well without stretching the incision. I may have to take a few drives around the block just to be sure I can move okay and that I remember how to operate a car. Ha.

Hannah had her first pediatrician visit last night. She has gained 2 oz since being home and everything else looked good, too. We'll have a follow-up appointment with the pediatrician next week to check her weight again and then she'll have her wellness visits, follow-up with the cardiologist in a few months and a follow-up with the physical therapist folks in a few months to be sure she's not falling behind due to being premature. Even though she's almost two weeks old, she's still only 37 weeks old gestation age (as of today) which will play into her developmental timetable.

Here's some pictures! We're so very very thankful to all be home together as a family and that Hannah is doing so well. Thank you, Lord!

Hannah sleeping in her own bed!

First visit to the pediatrician, Dr. Bernstein. 11/21/12

Hanging out after feeding

Tummy time!

Update

Hello everyone,

Wanted to give you a quick update on everything. Hannah is still in NICU but she is doing really well. She's in a transition room at the moment which means we're able to be with her 24/7 if we want to. We have stayed the night with her a couple of times (but the sleeping accommodations in her room are terrible so we've stayed at home the past two nights) and we are spending most of the day in her room at the hospital. She had been in an isolette (one of those big plastic incubator type of things) for several days to help her regulate her body temperature and not spend all of the calories she had been consuming on trying to stay warm. She lost a few ounces once they removed her IV so we were told she'd have to gain weight a few days in a row before she'd be upgraded to a crib in NICU. She gained one ounce from Friday to Saturday but remained the exact same weight from Saturday to Sunday so we were a bit bummed about that. However, when we came in this morning, she was in a crib!! That's the final step before going home. Now she has to be able to maintain her weight and body temperature in the crib for a few days before we can take her home, but just being able to see her and talk to her and not have to keep her in the isolette constantly is awesome. We can actually hold her a little more now if we want (whereas before we were only allowed to let her out for feedings and then she'd have to go right back in the isolette).

Hannah in her crib in NICU. YAY!! 11/18/12

I am doing really well with my recovery from the surgeries and being back at home. I'm still having trouble walking down stairs without holding on to a bannister due to the muscle atrophy from 11 weeks of bed rest. However, I'm trying to take stairs more to build those muscles back up when I can. My pain isn't very severe any more - I've dramatically reduced the amount of painkillers I have to take to get through the day. I still have the staples in but I have an appointment to get them out on Wednesday morning. Most of my current discomfort is getting my clothes snagged on the staples, so I think once those come out, everything else will be pretty smooth sailing. My scar is healing nicely - there are some places where the skin has already healed together and I can hardly see there was even a cut there. Most of it is still scabby, but I think over the course of a couple more weeks, it should be pretty well healed. :)

We still don't have a good estimate on when Hannah can come home - it'll be based on how she does in the crib, but they are hoping if she's able to maintain her weight and temperature okay, it may be by this weekend. We are really looking forward to having her home. She is eating like a champ, though, so that's a huge praise! Thanks for continuing to pray for all of us and thank you to those of you who are contributing to meals for us. I can't convey how huge of a blessing that has been! If you want to sign up, you can follow this link: Take Them A Meal

Thanks to everyone who is or has been helping us and praying for us. We are so blessed by all of you!!

Here are some more pictures of Hannah. :)

In my big girl crib in NICU. 11/18/12

Mmmm...food. 11/17/12

Snuggle time with daddy (she likes to hold our fingers). 11/17/12

11/17/12

Being Home

I honestly couldn't believe it when I was told I was being discharged on Monday. I would never have thought after having double surgeries in the wee hours of Friday morning that I would be doing well enough to go home so soon. Leaving the hospital was very emotional for me -- on top of being hormonal, I didn't realize just how many emotions I had bottled up for so long. Being in the hospital was something I knew to be necessary and vital to the well-being of Hannah and me so I accepted it, but obviously that is not how I wanted things to go for 11 weeks. Having no privacy with my husband, having interruptions constantly, being poked with needles every few days, etc. was something I just accepted as "this has to happen" but once it didn't have to happen any more, I finally had to grieve that it all had to happen. I was so busy holding it together to get through to the end that I hadn't really processed all of the time and things I had missed while being in the hospital -- little things like hearing the rain, seeing my dog, being able to spend some quality time before bed uninterrupted with my husband, being able to actually do my makeup, being able to WALK were all things I took for granted before and had to give up at a whim at the end of August. Being able to just experience them all again all of the sudden was just really overwhelming. I have just really missed my life even though I would, of course, do it all over again ... all of the pokings, all of the proddings, all of the needles, all of the missing my privacy and family -- Hannah is worth all of it 100 times over again. But it's still really emotional getting back into the swing of things.

I am doing pretty good being at home, but everything that used to be easy is now a challenge. Paul has to help me in and out of the car, I have to do things in spurts then rest, I have to hold a pillow over my belly to sleep and sit and go up and down the stairs. For the most part, as long as I don't get behind on my pain medication, I am able to manage pretty well. When I miss a dose, though, I can feel it. The most painful part (and the part that was giving me trouble the first couple of days after surgery) is the part where I have to bend to sit/stand. It's also where my pants lie over my hips, so I have a dressing over it to try to cushion that area better, but it's still uncomfortable. The staples are driving me crazy! I think once they come out (hopefully next Monday) then I'll feel better but right now they're uncomfortable and sore.

Hannah is doing really great, though. She is eating pretty well considering she didn't want to eat at all the first couple of days. We've had three successful nursing attemps and today she latched on right away! She's gaining some weight - not quite back to her birth weight yet, but getting there. She's looking a little jaundice so they're keeping an eye on that and they have noticed a heart murmur so she got an echocardiogram yesterday and they found a hole in her heart (common with babies, though -- it usually heals as they grow) and another issue which will hopefully resolve on its own but may require us to make periodic stops to the cardiologist to make sure nothing serious develops. Other than that, though, she is doing great. We're not sure when she'll be coming home yet, but we are hoping it will be sooner rather than later. :)

Don't have any new pictures for this post but hopefully we'll have some soon! Thanks for continuing to pray for our little family.

Update

Sorry for the delay in updating -- obviously we've been very busy and I haven't been on the computer much. I know, crazy, right?

So I'll start from the beginning from how everything started so everyone knows events leading up to and since little Hannah got here.

Thursday was uneventful as usual all day -- I took my nightly sleep medication but was up playing around on the laptop until it "kicked in". I was sitting  at the time and felt a gush around 11:18-11:20pm so I rushed to the bathroom, not sure if I was bleeding or what. I got in the bathroom and noticed that my pants were drenched but it wasn't blood. I walked back to look at the bed and there was a huge wet spot on the bed. I called the nurse and told her I thought my water had just broken, so they did a quick test to see if it was amniotic fluid and it was. They said "we're going to prep you - tonight is the night - call your husband", so I did. Paul was asleep when I called so I think it took him a few minutes to register what was going on, but he was quickly on the way.

In the meantime, my Ambien had kicked in so I wasn't panicking. I had an order for Ativan (relaxant medication) to be administered if we were sent off to delivery for any emergencies (and this counted) so I was given that. Thankfully, both of those kept me relaxed as they prepped me in my room and as they wheeled me down to surgical. One of my most favorite doctors was on call which also gave me a ton of relief. I was able to think of other things during the spinal so didn't freak out too much during that administration. Paul came in the room soon after the spinal and I focused on him instead of all of the things going on around me. Not long after, Paul walked Hannah over to me and I got to see her for a couple of minutes. I remember Paul turning to leave as they got ready to do the splenectomy and I don't remember much after that until I was almost to my new room in the Women's Surgical wing. Hannah was born at 1:59am.

Hannah was taken up to NICU right away and given a CPAP to help her breathe since she is premature. Paul was able to go with her and spend time with her until I was out of surgery.

Once I got to my room post surgery, I think I slept for a little while. I'm not going to lie, Friday (right after surgery) until about mid-day Saturday was horrendously awful in terms of pain. Between being given pitocin to get my uterus to shrink (hello cramps!) to being on pain medication that only lasted about 30 minutes at a time and having to wait for the next administration (ugh!) to having incredibly sore abdominal muscles and being unable to move or adjust myself (someone move my leg) to having to get up to use the restroom due to all of the fluids being pumped in me but being unable to use those muscles TO use the restroom (running water did not help) to having sharp, stabbing pain in my shoulders from the gas that was pumped into my abdomen during surgery (AAHH!!!), those 30 hours were the most excruciating, most horrible hours I've ever had. I didn't even get to go see Hannah until nearly 2pm which just added to the terribleness.

On Saturday, they finished administering my last dose of IV medication which meant I was able to switch over to pain medication in pill form. HELLO RELIEF! I was still very sore on Saturday and unable to move myself too much but the pain wasn't nearly as bad. On Saturday night, I walked with the aid of a wheelchair (I basically pushed it down the hallway) all the way to NICU and back, which isn't a short walk. Today, I have been up and moving really well, able to maneuver myself, and walked to and from NICU twice without assistance. Overall, the staff is really impressed with my progress considering I had more than just a C-section. They say that I may be released tomorrow (Monday) or Tuesday. I still don't quite know what to think about being released from the hospital - it still seems kind of like a foreign concept.

As for me, I have been told repeatedly that everyone is surprised just how smooth my surgeries went. God showed off BIG TIME. The doctors and surgeons have had many weeks to consult with each other and make a plan for every possible scenario and there are so many things that could have gone wrong. My previa could have caused me to bleed a lot and my body could have compensated by pumping a lot more than usual which would have put a lot of pressure on my spleen all at once which, in turn, could have caused the cyst to burst during the C-section. They had ordered blood in case I were to need an emergency blood transfusion and they had put in extra IVs just in case. But instead, I ended up losing only 250 units of blood total which I guess is extremely LOW. They said no one that read the report that wasn't in the room would probably believe them. They did a vertical incision from my bikini line up to about 2-2.5 inches above my belly button. And they said the spleen removal was also smooth sailing - they didn't have any trouble at all. I begged them to get a picture of it for me and they did. After seeing it, it's SO OBVIOUS to me how much God was working through all of this. Click here to see my spleen. Warning: it's graphic. The huge portion is the cyst -- my spleen is supposed to be closer to the size of the smaller side in the picture. Now how Hannah made it to 35 weeks with my uterus as large as it was and to still have this huge spleen inside me without bursting is a miracle. I honestly can't come up with any other explanation - the spleen is a pretty fragile organ and it looks like that thing could have burst at the smallest problem. I am so in awe of how God protected me and I am so beyond grateful for those of you who have been praying for us constantly during these weeks and months. I honestly don't know what would have happened if God hadn't intervened.

As for Hannah, she is doing really well! She's a preemie so she's got a few issues and will have to stay in NICU for now. However, she was on assisted oxygen only for about a day (as a precaution) and was breathing well enough on her own that they removed it early Saturday. Today, they stopped giving her antibiotics to prevent infection as she's showing no sign of any infection. However, she is not wanting to eat at the moment - she's taken some food by mouth, but for the most part, she has no interest in eating. That's issue #1 she'll have to overcome before she can come home. Issue #2 is that she is unable to control her own body temperature at the moment. However, once she puts on some weight and starts eating, that should resolve itself. There is no estimate, really, as to how long she'll have to stay in NICU. Both of these issues will resolve as the days pass so it's ultimately going to just depend when her body "catches on". That could be in a couple of days or it could be closer to her original due date (which was December 13th). I desperately want her to come home with us, but considering we thought we might have to deliver at 24 weeks and again we thought we'd have to deliver at 28 weeks, we are both just ecstatic that she made it to 35 weeks and that her biggest problem is not wanting to eat. That will obviously be something that is easily remedied as the days pass. Thankful, again, for all of you for praying for her all of these weeks and months. Considering all of the issues she could have, these are very minor, and we are praising God for His protection and provision for our daughter.

Here are a few more pictures since our last post. Thank you to all of you for your support and prayers - we can't wait until you're all able to meet her. She's just amazing.

First official family photo - November 9, 2012

Mommy and Hannah November 10, 2012.

Took the tubes out of her nose November 10, 2012.

Sleepy Hannah November 10, 2012.

Mommy and Daddy get Hannah to take a couple of swallows November 10, 2012.

Mommy and Hannah skin-to-skin time November 11, 2012.

Daddy tries to get Hannah to eat. November 11, 2012.

Daddy burps Hannah. November 11, 2012.

Hannah. November 11, 2012.

Welcome Baby Z

She is here! And despite the fact that we've been calling her "Baby Z" for pretty much the extent of the pregnancy, we have had a name picked out for quite a while (I know some of you were worried).

Welcome to the world, Hannah Reagan Grace Zoller

We decided on Hannah, which means "Grace of God" or "God has favored us (with child)". In the Bible, Hannah was one of the two wives of Elkanah. Elkanah's other wife was able to have children but Hannah was not and she was very grieved by it. In her grief, she prayed for God to give her a child, and He answered her prayer by giving her a son, Samuel (1 Samuel). We have longed for a child of our own for so long and have prayed and prayed and prayed that God would give us one in His timing, and he answered that prayer with Hannah. We are so thankful.

Paul originally wanted her middle name to be Grace, but I have liked the name Reagan for the longest time and after discussing which middle name to give her, we decided to give her both!  Reagan (a derivative of the Irish name Regan) means "of royal blood" or "child of the King" and as we feel she's the daughter of the King of Kings, it seemed appropriate. Besides, we both like Ronald Reagan. :) Grace means, well, "grace", or better yet, "of divine favor". She has exhibited divine favor through all of the hardships we've experienced since conception. She overcame a blood clot in the uterus, previa that could have caused her to come as early as 24 1/2 weeks and again at 28 1/2 weeks (but she held on!), AND a parasite. At every doctor visit and every daily check-up since I got checked into the hospital, all of the medical staff has consistently commented on just how strong her heartbeat has been for her gestational age and how active she has been. We can't wait to see what God has in store for her life as He has blessed her already!

She arrived on 11/9/12 at 1:59am and weighed in at 4lbs .9oz and 16 inches long.

The surgeons were able to remove Amber's spleen during the C-section and she is sore but doing fine. Hannah is in NICU but is doing great so far. We can't wait until we're all able to be home together!

 

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him." -1 Samuel 1:27

Ultrasound Update 33w4d

They were able to get us in pretty early for our ultrasound check this morning. Overall, Baby Z still looks good but she is falling behind on the growth scale. The past several ultrasounds we've had have measured her in the 14th-13th percentile for her gestational age. Today she measured in the 7th percentile. Some of you may remember that when we were first checked in, they said "there's no need to worry unless she falls under the 10th percentile". Well, we are now under the 10th percentile. They are estimating she weighs around 3lbs 8oz at the moment.

As they told us the news, I was thinking that was it -- today was the day they might decide to go ahead and take her. But they checked on the umbilical cord and it is showing that the blood flow is good and she's getting all of the nutrients she needs. We also do a non-stress test every single morning on her and me and her heart rate always looks like she's happy and healthy, so they said they are not worried about her at the moment. However, if in the next week or two she starts to look like she's stressed, they might go ahead and decide it's time to go. But the doctor said as we are getting closer to the end, usually "bigger" people's babies tend to grow on the upswing and "smaller" people's babies tend to grow on the downswing. They consider me small (height/stature) so they do take that into consideration when they're looking at growth (which is why they're not too worried yet). I'm glad they're not concerned yet - that is somewhat of a relief - but to go from the 13th percentile down to the 7th in just three weeks is worrisome to me. And to think, I was 9lbs 2oz when I was born! Goodness!

I still have previa -- it looks about the same as it was last time (just bordering my cervix) but my cervix is still closed. That is good news.

My spleen does look a little more squished but they said they're not worried about it at this point in time. Also good news.

They said they will likely do another ultrasound on us next week to check the blood flow on the umbilical cord just to be sure she's getting all of the nutrients she needs. We will probably schedule a date for 36 weeks sometime this afternoon or tomorrow. Of course, it's subject to change based on any signs of distress on her end. So...we'll continue to wait and see. Thankful that today doesn't appear to be "the day" but was hoping to hear she was still growing on par with what she has been.

When we schedule a date, I will post an edit on this blog entry so check back on this entry later today or tomorrow. Please continue to pray that Baby Z is healthy and getting all that she needs. And please continue to pray that I will have peace about the surgeries. **UPDATE: We are scheduled for Thursday, November 15th at 8:30am. We'll be 36 weeks to the day if we make it that far!**

Thanks to all of you who are praying for us every day! We can't thank you enough.

33w4d

Asked for a pic of the spleen :)

33 Weeks + 1

Well, we made it to my goal (of 33 weeks), but here's hoping we can make it to the next goal -- 36 weeks!

A friend of mine's sister got checked in to the room across the hall from me last night. She was just a few days ahead of me gestation-wise and went into preterm labor yesterday. After trying to stop the labor unsuccessfully, they had to deliver her by C-section quickly this morning. On the bright side, it's nice to see just how quickly the staff here is able to handle an emergency. On the not bright side, it's a stark reminder at how quickly things can go awry. Prayers for her and baby are appreciated --  I suspect since baby came around 34 weeks, she may be in NICU for a little while, and mom wasn't prepared for an emergency C-section, so please pray for her physical and emotional recovery.

Our next ultrasound is Monday morning. If everything is still looking good, they said we'd start talking about scheduling my C-section/splenectomy. And while no one here has mentioned that we may be heading off to have Baby Z on Monday, I am trying to mentally prepare myself just in case it looks like my spleen is in danger and they decide to play it safe rather than sorry. I'm really hoping that they say everything looks good and we can continue forward.

I talked to the Infectious Disease doctor today about the recommendation about medication after they take my spleen. I've read that some doctors prescribe something for a couple of years to boost the immune system for a while and I've read that some doctors do not recommend it. He said he would not recommend it as it could make my body resistant to antibiotics and if/when I do contract something, it may not be as responsive to the medication. He said he may prescribe me something to keep on hand in case I were to come down with something and was unable to get medical attention quickly, just as a backup, but that's it.

In other news, the hospital is shutting off power for 12 hours tomorrow to test emergency power backups and do maintenance. For those of you who panic when you don't hear from me within an hour or two, there's a good chance I will be void of internet tomorrow evening starting at 6pm. Looks like I may be doing a lot of reading and going to the bathroom via flashlight or glow stick. ;)

Other than that, we're still hanging out. The hospital has been crazy busy the past week (must be leading up to full moon) so I am sticking to my bed like glue just in case whatever is "going around" tries to creep into my room. Trying to stay stable, stable, stable!

Here we are!!

33w1d

32 weeks

I apologize that it's been more than a week since I have updated; there just hasn't been much new to report on! :) We have made it to 32 weeks -- Praise The Lord! Baby Z is still active and seems to be doing really well despite a couple of days having to stay on the monitor longer due to her moving a lot and having it look like her heart rate was dipping. Fortunately, after extending the time on the monitor, she looked just fine - I think it was just the position she was in.

The Infectious Disease doctors have given the go-ahead to remove my spleen during the C-section (unless something happens where I am not stable enough to do so). I have been on the Albendazole medication for the parasite long enough where they feel like the risk in removing it is greatly diminished at this point. It sounds like even after the surgeries, though, they would like me to stay on the medication until December 4th, just in case I have another cyst somewhere that hasn't been found or in case I have one that has been too small to detect as of yet. Being on the medication for the full three months should kill off anything that might be hiding, so they want to take the "play it safe" approach, which is fine by me.

The nursery is almost finished! The changing table and the crib and the rocking chair are all set up. There are only a handful of things left that we still need, so if you would like to contribute to any of the remaining items on our registry, the links are in the right column next to this post under "Baby Registries". :)

I am getting more anxious as we approach the end which could be anywhere from now through another four weeks or so. My biggest fears are needles and surgery (and not having any control) so putting all three of those together into one big event is pretty difficult for me. Prayers that I have peace about it by the time we actually get there are greatly appreciated.

Here are some pictures!

Rocking chair and ottoman my sweet coworkers got for us.

Changing table and crib ready to go.

32w1d

Thankful to all of you who are praying for us!

Ultrasound Update

I can't believe I have been in the hospital for six weeks (as of yesterday). I thought originally that I would come in, have them check me out, tell me I am stable and send me home. But six weeks has flown right by ... well, maybe not flown, but it's been a bit of a whirlwind so it doesn't exactly feel like it's been six weeks.

We had another ultrasound this morning to check on everything. All of this info is coming straight from the ultrasound tech as I haven't heard anything official from the doctors, yet (probably will hear from them later this afternoon). Updates from doctor in italics.

It appears I still have a previa. I am not sure if it's still considered complete previa but Baby Z's head is pretty much directly over my cervix along with the previa. Looking at the images of it, I can't believe I haven't been bleeding more frequently or with more intensity (especially with how active she is). I am attributing that entirely on God answering the prayers of so many of you on our behalf - thank you. Update from doctor: I still have previa, but it is no longer complete previa! My previa has migrated some and is still right next to the opening of my cervix, but it is not completely covering my cervix. We can still have a big bleed that sends us off to surgery, but the likelihood of that happening gets less and less as the previa hopefully continues to migrate away from the cervix. Praise the Lord!!

My spleen still looks the same. I watched her measure it and it's pretty much the exact same measurements as last time so that should indicate it's not getting too squished yet. Also an answer to prayer. Doctor confirmed that it is still the same and the cyst may even be a bit smaller, but not significantly smaller - only a few millimeters at most. In addition, the doctors and I have all agreed that we're hoping not to have to rush off to surgery for at least another couple of weeks - after that, I will have been on the parasite medication for 8+ weeks which will have given the medication time to start killing off what is inside the cyst. That will greatly decrease the risk for other organs being contaminated should there be an issue during the removal of the spleen.

Baby Z looks great!! She is still measuring small but she is progressing exactly as she should in regards to what she has been. She is an estimated 2lbs14oz which is a huge relief to me - I was afraid she was significantly smaller than she should be, but the average weight she should be is only about one pound bigger. I'll take it. And in other answers to prayer, this past Sunday was the first time she kicked my ribcage (and I've gotten a few more jabs to the ribs since) but all of her kicking and pushing and moving has been localized to my right side, so nowhere near my spleen (which rests under my left ribcage). I also suspect the previa is probably partially what is keeping her stationed so low in my uterus, which is also a good thing for my spleen. God is showing off in the midst of all of the stuff going on. Doctor didn't give us any information we didn't already know on Baby Z. :)

Here are some pictures from today's ultrasound. Thanks for continuing to pray for us - it is working!!

Baby Z 30w5d

Baby Z 30w5d "I see you"

No News Is Good News

I am so glad that I don't have much to update! So far, there hasn't been any more bleeding - HALLELUJAH! I am still paranoid that it will happen again, but the doctors have all said "maybe you're done" -- I certainly hope so. If we stay stable this week, our next ultrasound is a week from today where we'll check on Baby Z, on the previa, and on the spleen again. All of the nurses I've talked to who used to work the NICU have all told me that 30 weeks is kind of the "magic number" for weeks of gestation where they would always breathe a sigh of relief when a baby was born at that gestation or later - they said those babies have a lot fewer problems than babies born before 30 weeks (and most of them are relaying that from their experience over 10+ years ago in the NICU).

We will be 30 weeks on Thursday. Thankful to be plugging away at the days Baby Z can hold on and develop!

I haven't done a whole lot of bragging on the staff at Mission (just a little here and there) but the nurses and doctors have all been so wonderful. On the days when I had the bleeding and they had to switch me from being under the care of the Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFU) unit to the Labor and Delivery (L&D) unit, I found out that the MFU nurses would keep my monitor up at their desk and watch everything happening even though I was not technically their patient any more. Even since I've been back under the care of MFU since last Wednesday, the nurse I had while under the care of L&D has come by to check on me several times. She was nurse to a lady who was in labor next door to me earlier today and once she'd finished with her, she stopped by just to ask how I was doing and to tell me she was thinking of me while she was helping deliver on the other side of the wall. I realize I am technically just a patient, but I really haven't gotten the feeling that I'm just a patient to any of the staff. They seem to genuinely care about all of us and I'm so thankful.

In addition, I am beyond grateful to be in a country where they value the life of my unborn child. I know all of the Roe vs. Wade debates that are still in the spotlight in this country and how many people still feel like life doesn't begin until birth (and, as such, is not as valuable), but any time I've talked to anyone at Mission Hospital, they've been adamant that they want Baby Z to be in the best health/shape possible and want to delay me having her any earlier than I absolutely have to. I can't imagine being in a country where if I'd had a bleed or had a large splenic cyst that the medical staff may not be as concerned about making sure that my child's interests were also considered in the course of treatment. Sometimes the nurses come in just to give her a quick listen in the afternoons even though I know on my chart it doesn't indicate they have to do that as long as I'm stable. I really feel like everyone here is as concerned for her welfare as Paul and I are.

Not much else to report at the moment, thankfully! Paul thinks he has passed the kidney stone, finally! And we're looking forward to our friends & family baby shower this weekend (at the hospital) assuming there are no more surprises. :) I may be in a wheelchair the whole time, but I am beyond excited to see everyone regardless of the fact that I won't be able to be very "active".

Thanks for all of the prayers! I know how many hundreds are lifting us up (and probably hundreds more that I don't even know about who are lifting us up). Amazes me to have so many people committed to praying for us every day. I can't wait for this little miracle to meet all of you when she gets here.

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." -John 15:7

General Update

This weekend marks five years since Paul and I first started "trying" to have a baby. Two miscarriages followed by two and a half years of infertility has been difficult so despite all of the setbacks we've had with this pregnancy, we are still so so grateful to have made it this far, to have gotten as much good news on Baby Z as we've gotten (I have lost count of how many doctors and nurses have said just "how good her activity level and heart rate looks for her gestational age"). I did have another bleed late Tuesday night which led to me being monitored for another 26 hours non-stop but the bleeding slowed again and the monitoring showed Baby Z was not in distress and I wasn't in labor. They downgraded me back to "stable" Wednesday afternoon and so far, we have not had any bleeding since. I'm terrified we're going to, though, but maybe it's done for a while. We shall see.

They are giving me round two of steroid shots since the bleeding has started up and it's been four weeks since our last set. The steroid shots lose their potency/helpfulness after 2-2 1/2 weeks so they want to be sure I've had another round "just in case". I get the second shot tomorrow and then 48 hours later, they should begin to be effective. I'll feel a lot better if we breeze through the weekend without having to deliver (or threatening to deliver).

Today marks 29 weeks of gestation. It's still too early for me to feel comfortable having her here, but there is a high survival rate at this age so at least we've made it this far. But c'mon 33 weeks!

I have been very blessed by visitors this week. Thankful for friends who drop everything to come be with me while my husband is in the ER (even though I said I didn't need her to), friends who come at the drop of a hat and stay late until I'm ready to go to sleep, family members who are willing to drive (with a newborn, even) over and hour and a half just for a quick visit (and a special delivery of preemie clothes), a sister-in-law who keeps me grounded and fills me in on what's going on at work so I can feel like I'm still connected, friends who will help clean our house since Paul hasn't been able to keep caught up, a brother-in-law who runs to the store to bring Paul some necessities while he feels like he can hardly move, and a mother-in-law who is picking up a lot of slack watching our dog, feeding Paul and taking care of him with the kidney stone and still is willing to spend hours sitting in my room just because I've had a stressful day and didn't want to be alone. Of course, I'm also thankful for all of the Facebook messages, emails and phone calls from everyone who is concerned but doesn't want to impose. It's hard to be dealing with everything happening sometimes, but I feel way more blessed than I do not. God has placed so many special and supportive people in my life -- it's overwhelming.

Paul is still working on passing that stubborn stone. The pain hasn't been as excruciating for him since Monday (probably due to the meds) but he is still very uncomfortable. He came by this hospital this morning and had felt like he really had to relieve himself when the power flickered just as he'd stepped on the elevator. The doors closed and an announcement saying "sorry, we're having technical difficulties" came on the speaker in the elevator. He started pushing buttons to no prevail and was afraid he'd have to pee in the elevator! HAHA! But thankfully, he pushed the alarm button and the doors opened. Yikes. He might be navigating the stairs from now on until it passes.

Thanks for continuing to pray for us!  It comforts me more than you know!!

Two Days of Scares

For about a week and a half, Paul had been suffering from intermittent back pain that would sometimes radiate to his whole abdomen. At first, he believed it was probably just a pinched nerve due to moving furniture/books/etc. at home in preparation for Baby Z. However, the pain had gotten excruciating (and was accompanied by some other symptoms) so while he was visiting the hospital Monday morning before work, we decided he should go see our family doctor and get checked out. So Paul drove about 20 minutes from Mission Hospital to the doctor. When he arrived, the pain had gotten much worse and the doctor told him it was a kidney stone but that he needed to get checked out at the hospital and get some pain medication.

Being unable to properly communicate due to his cell phone not getting good reception in the brick building and being in too much pain to be able to talk much, little bits and pieces of information were relayed to me, but I couldn't quite figure out what exactly was going on. Finally, a text message that very briefly just said "ambulance". Of course, hormonal wife who can't leave the bed gets a text message that they're sending him by ambulance and knowing I can't be there, I got pretty upset. Trying to get the word out to people but not quite thinking in the rational zone, managed to worry some friends and family about what was going on (sorry, everyone)! So Paul arrived to the Mission Emergency Room (sheesh, he should have just walked downstairs and checked himself in) and not long after his brother, Andy, arrived and was finally able to make more sense of the situation and give me an appropriate update (whew)!

Paul was definitely experiencing a kidney stone -- his first, actually. The ER gave him an IV and got him some pain medication. After a CT scan, they determined the stone to be passable so they discharged him with several prescriptions to fill to aid in the pain management/passing of the stone process. Paul's dad came to pick him up since he wasn't able to drive and took him to their house to rest and stock up on fluids.

That same night, I got my first bleed since before I got checked in to Mission 4+ weeks ago. Since previa can go from a minor bleed to a big one in no time flat, the hospital started preparing me for the possibility of having to deliver by C-section immediately (and transferred me from the Maternal/Fetal staff to the Labor & Delivery staff which just added to the stress and seriousness of the situation). I called Paul at 2am and told him he needed to get to the hospital so his parents drove him over. The bleeding continued for several hours, but thankfully, did not get heavy and the hospital kept Baby Z and I on a monitor every second to make sure she wasn't in distress and I wasn't having contractions that would indicate labor. Thankfully the bleeding stopped on its own around 10:45am. The monitoring continued until 4pm today but they finally felt like I was stable enough to switch me from the Labor & Delivery staff back to Maternal Fetal staff. So the good news is that Baby Z and I are doing fine at the moment, but with previas, the bleeding can come and go, so we're definitely not out of the woods. Paul was able to spend the day with me and is still working to pass that kidney stone (but is not in as much pain as he was before, so that's good news).

I am really hoping that tomorrow is a no surprises kind of a day. We are so grateful for everyone who knew the situations and prayed us through them and helped out. I would really like it if Baby Z could make it to at least 33 weeks (when the biggest setback is usually lung development, but hoping she won't have as much trouble as most since we have had the steroid shots). So that's my goal! Please continue to pray that we make it that far. Thanks, everyone!!

Baby Z Has Her Own Bed

I'm not sure how much I have mentioned this, but Paul has been so amazing during the process of my hospitalization. He's had to get up extra early to come spend time with me before work, come out to visit some after work, keep up with my laundry, help make sure the bills are paid, grocery shop and take my car to get inspected just to name a few things. And to add to the list of the super amazing things he's been working on, here's a glimpse of the nursery:

Baby Z's room

While his mother and sister-in-law, Erica, helped out with some of the stenciling on the wall you see here (I managed to do the bunny before I was admitted so, yay, I contributed), Paul stenciled and painted most of the wall that the crib is leaning against and he put the crib together (and managed to figure out where all of the little stuff goes -- what *is* a bumper any way?) all by himself. I have to live vicariously through pictures to see what is going on at home but doesn't it look great? Well, if you don't like it, just keep it to yourself -- I'm excited!!

I am so thankful for all of the "slack" Paul has picked up and navigated since my admission nearly four weeks ago. Of course, he wouldn't be able to do it all without the help of our sweet friends and family who help him with meals, watching our dog, running some of my personal errands to give Paul reprieve, and giving gift cards so he can fill up on gas or get a bite to eat on the way to doing the next errand. (THANK YOU AGAIN to all of you who are helping us out!!)

We're getting there, slowly but surely! Next on the list is buying a changing table/dresser so we can start putting clothes in the drawers instead of having them stacked in piles all over the place. :) But we're making progress.

-Amber

Hello Third Trimester

We reached the third trimester officially on Thursday. I was allowed to celebrate by getting woken up bright (actually, the sun wasn't even up yet) and early at 6am for my gestational diabetes test. They told me the night before they would be doing it, so I didn't sleep well; I find it hard to sleep when they warn me they plan to stick needles in my arms. :(

But I woke up and they took an initial blood sample to have a a baseline reading. Then I had five minutes to drink an incredibly sugary orange drink (blech - I hate orange!). After I consumed the drink, I was given one hour before the next blood draw had to be made. An additional hour after that, they came back and drew more blood and then I was free and clear to eat breakfast -- thank goodness because I was starving.

Considering I hadn't had much sugar since I was admitted to the hospital, I was pretty concerned about the effects the sugary drink would have on my system. The few times I have splurged on a milkshake or a cherry coke, I have had dizziness and some nausea so I've learned to take it really easy on the sugar intake. Fortunately, I made it through the two-hour test without throwing up the drink or passing out, and despite some dizziness and mild nausea and heartburn throughout the day yesterday, I didn't have too many other troubles. I downed a lot of water to try to wash that stuff out of my system and I'm feeling much better today. Baby Z was really active yesterday (I presume due to the sugar drink) and was kicking and doing flips and all sorts of other fun stuff. My belly looked like something out of Alien. :)

The results came back that I DO NOT have gestational diabetes (THANK YOU, LORD) as that would have required they monitor my diet more closely and would have to prick my finger every day. Thankful to have dodged that bullet. This morning they woke me up to take more blood (this time to keep an updated file on me for the blood bank should I need it) and I have an IV change due tomorrow followed by a flu shot, but I think after that, I should get a reprieve from needles for at least a little while.

Here is a not very high quality picture of mom and Baby Z at 28w1d. Beyond grateful to have been able to carry her this far and that it seems like we should be able to continue carrying her (as we're both still stable - yippee). Thanks for continuing to pray for all of us.

28w1d

-Amber

Scans Reveal Same Ol'

Today was the big day to rescan everything and see if there were any changes. Everything is still looking good for the most part. My spleen hasn't shown any significant changes since the last scan (I think even positionally, it is similar, which is good because it means my uterus hasn't begun to squish it too much yet). Baby is still measuring small, but no one seems to be concerned - she has grown on par with what she is expected to since the last scan -- hallelujah! The previa is still there. At this point, I can't get a good answer about whether it's still a complete previa, or if my uterus has caused it to migrate some giving me a partial previa or a marginal previa. They said on one of the ultrasound pictures, it looked like it might not be covering my cervix completely (which would indicate it might be migrating) -- regardless, though, it's still a previa, so they plan to keep me at the hospital as long as the previa persists. I suspect they'll order another scan in a few weeks to check everything out again.

Despite being sentenced recommended for continued bed rest, we are VERY thankful that we are still stable and that Baby Z looks good! We're just two days away from the third trimester -- considering the scare we had when we got here three weeks ago thinking we might be in preterm labor, we are beyond grateful that we have made it this far.

Paul (with help from his parents and our sister-in-law, Erica) has completed the painting of the nursery so the plan is to order the crib this week and get that set up. I believe a baby shower is in the works for us on October 6th at the hospital -- they actually have a room specifically for that purpose - how cool is that?! And I've noticed a big growth in my belly in the past week - a shirt I wore about a week ago is much tighter than it was the week before.

Thanks for the continued prayers for all of us as we trust in God to get Baby Z here in His perfect timing and that He will protect my spleen from rupturing. We are thankful to all of you for your prayers and support.

Here are some pictures of Baby Z from today:

27w4d

Feet!!

--Amber

Tests Keep Pointing to Good News

Baby Z and I are still doing well but are still on bed rest for the time being. The staff at Mission Hospital has been great and plans have been made for pretty much every scenario that might come up over the next couple of months.

I have received the two rounds of steroid shots to help speed the development of Baby Z's lungs and I have received three vaccinations that will help build my immune system for when they take my spleen (Meningococcal, Pneumococcal, Haemophilus b). We had an ultrasound to check on the cyst on my spleen and while it appears to be in a bit of a different position than it was the last two times, it does not appear to be making any significant growths or changes so that is very very good news. The ultrasound we got when we first were admitted (on August 27th) showed that the placenta previa is still complete and that there are "spots" of blood that have formed between the uterus and the placenta (which is normal in pregnancy) - however, since my placenta is over my cervix, that blood has a place to leak, which might be the reason for the bleeding I had. It could also be a blood clot forming, though, but it was too early to tell at the last ultrasound whether it was a normal pool or if it is a blood clot.

I also had an MRI done because I've had a facial twitch since one of our first pregnancies (so several years now). They wanted to rule out that I had a cyst or growth in my brain as it would affect the choice of anesthesia they could use when we get ready to deliver. Thankfully, the MRI came back normal, so the twitch could just be Bells Palsy or Hemifacial Spasm.

We've been told that we'll revisit whether they want me to stay in the hospital or be released after the next ultrasound (which is scheduled for September 17th). They will look at the August 27th ultrasound and compare it to determine what's going on and then we can discuss whether I am to stay on bed rest in the hospital, at home, or if I can have some of my restrictions lifted. Baby Z will be 27 weeks along by then, so she'll be getting big enough to start squishing my organs up which is when we have to start really monitoring the cyst on my spleen, so even if the previa is looking stable, they may decide to keep us hospitalized until delivery just because of that. I am mentally preparing myself to be here for the long haul.

It still sounds like we're looking to have a C-section at 36 weeks at the latest (mid-November) as long as nothing goes wrong before that which would require her to come any earlier.

Fortunately, though, all of the monitoring we've done has been normal - Baby Z is very active and we're both doing fine!

If anyone is local to Asheville and wants to come by and visit, feel free! We are at Mission Hospital in the Maternal/Fetal wing in room C494. Paul is doing good - still visiting every day and is now in charge of the house, laundry, getting the nursery ready and still working full-time. Amber is still doing some work from the hospital - thank goodness for wifi and the ability to do a lot of that from afar.

Thank you all for praying for us and Baby Z. We are hoping to keep her "cooking" for as long as possible! We can't wait to meet this little miracle when she gets here.

-Amber

Bed Rest for Mom and Baby Z

When we found out in July that we had placenta previa, we were told that there were risks with it and if there was any bleeding, there was a possibility that the prescription would include bed rest. We were hoping for no complications, but at 24 weeks on the nose, Amber woke up with some bleeding and promptly went back to lay in bed until the Dr.'s office was open. Though there was quite a bit of blood at first, it had stopped on its own within an hour. Amber and Paul rushed off to the doctor as soon as they could, though, since bleeding with previa can be a sign of preterm labor (and preterm labor with previa can lead to death for mom and baby if ignored).

The Dr. looked Amber over and confirmed that her body did not appear to be going into preterm labor (praise the Lord!!) and checked on baby and said she had a very strong heartbeat and good movement for only being 24 weeks along. Amber was sent home and advised to stay in the bed the rest of the day to be sure there was no more bleeding and no sign of contractions (and to make sure Baby Z continued to move well). At the end of the day, there were no other issues.

Friday morning, Amber was out and about again running errands, working some, grocery shopping, etc. Everything was fine most of the day but then at 6:15 another gush of blood hit. It wasn't a lot and it quickly stopped again, but it was still scary. After another gush Saturday morning, Amber laid in the bed most of the day Saturday just in case. Most of the day was uneventful and then another gush around 8:30pm. Thankfully Sunday was bleed free, but out of concern, Paul recommended Amber call the Dr. first thing on Monday morning to at least make them aware of the additional bleeding episodes.

Amber called and let them know that there was some more spotting over the weekend, but it seemed to have stopped. However, the Dr. said she would strongly advise Amber go to the hospital to get checked over. Thinking little of it, Amber went straight to the hospital where they checked her out again and said it did not appear that preterm labor was occurring, but that previas can go from nothing to major in the snap of a finger. Since there were multiple bleeds, the hospital decided it was best to admit Amber and keep her on bed rest.

So it's been nearly a week of bed rest at the hospital now. There has been a slew of medical professionals consulting about Baby Z, about the previa, about the splenic cyst, about the parasite, etc. It's been a bit overwhelming, but we've gotten A LOT of good news through the process such as:

Baby Z is very active for her gestation age and heartbeat is very strong -- we have heard that over and over from multiple people. We also got some great looks at her on the ultrasound - her hand completely open "waving" at us (which rules out a lot of genetic disorders since many babies with genetic problems will have their hands clasped constantly). We got a great view of her mouth and got to watch her swallow (and cleft palate was ruled out which also helps rule out some genetic disorders where cleft pallet is a common condition). We counted all of her fingers and toes again. She looks great (but is measuring small for her gestation - something we've been told not to worry about for now -- it could just be genetics playing into that).

Every test we've had done on Amber has shown that her body is not preparing for labor which is the biggest concern with previas. However, since the staff has to plan for an emergency situation, all of them have been making plans for what happens if the splenic cyst were to burst, what happens if Amber were to hemorrhage and they couldn't stop labor, what happens if Baby Z appears in distress, etc. etc. Thankfully, being in the hospital has led to a lot of discussion on how to treat the parasite, cyst, baby and Amber so we feel like we're in great hands. The surgeons have all decided that it would be safest for Amber to try to do the C-section first and once mom and baby are good, they will deal with removing the spleen later. It may be only days later, but it sounds like the C-section/spleen removal combo surgery is now off the table except in an emergency.

In addition, Amber has received two steroid shots already which will help speed up Baby Z's lung development so if she has to come early, she has a much better chance for survival. Amber got three vaccinations so her body can start to build up immunity to certain diseases which are very serious for people who do not have spleens, so Amber will have a better chance of not contracting those diseases when the spleen is taken. Amber also started taking the medication to kill the parasite so hopefully by the time Baby Z gets here and the spleen is removed, the parasite will be gone and it will just be time for recovery and getting back to normal (or the new normal, rather).

For now, the hospital is being overly cautious due to all of the scenarios going on and are keeping Amber hospitalized on bed rest for what sounds like a couple of weeks at least. After another ultrasound in a couple of weeks to check on the previa and to see if Amber has any more bleeding episodes, a decision will be made about whether Amber goes on full bed rest at home, if she stays in the hospital (possibly until delivery), or if the previa has moved, if she can have some of the restrictions lifted.

It's been a whirlwind and bed rest is something we were hoping wouldn't happen, but having someone bring you food all day and let you listen to your baby's heart beat several times a day isn't the worst thing in the world. So we're just going with the flow and making sure Baby Z is as safe as possible. If that means sitting on a bed for another 2-3 months, so be it (but we've still got our fingers crossed that the previa will resolve before then).

So that's the latest update! Amber and Baby Z are doing fine despite the hospital hiccup. Paul is being wonderful coming to visit Amber and make sure the house is taken care of and the nursery getting set up. We are so excited to meet Baby Z -- what a story we have to tell her about getting her here! She's already such a little miracle.

Thanks for praying for us that she is able to stay in the womb for as long as possible and none of the complications will require her to get here too early.

This is Baby Z waving at us as we are getting checked out and checked in to the hospital. Hi everyone! :)